wtf?! vol. II

when i started this blog...i wanted to make sure i didn't have too many blogs that fit into the same subject category right next to one another but low and behold another "wtf" moment has presented itself.

the girl above is Tila Tequila (for anyone that doesn't have myspace or cable tv in 2008). she's cute in a wierd-unique-no one really looks like her kind of way BUT...if you follow her back from her neck down you'll notice what i like to refer to as a "snake-butt."

snake-butt (sneyk buht) Slang. a woman who, like a snake, has an ass; but if asked to you could not immediately point it out or identify where it is.

now...i agree little booty or even snake-butt honeys need love too. but my problem (and finally the reason for this "wtf" moment) is that miss snake-butt Tila is on the next month's cover of King magazine. KING MAGAZINE! now...for those of you unaware of what King magazine is it's like Maxim or FHM is for white america/guys. Which is to say it's a men's magazine (no nudity) that features articles and products of men's interests as well as pictures of attractive women.

so ok...Tila fits in cause she's attractive (in a wierd way...i mean i know she looks like Gizmo from Gremlins but still...in the same way Lucy Lui or Kerry Washington with her alien dome are she is attractive in their own unique way), and she's popular. so what's the issue with the cover then?

see...the difference with Maxim, FHM, and Stuff magazine and King magazine is that the latter is for men of color...which means no rectangle shaped girls...we as black men like a woman with cakes...even our thin honeys have to have some kind of cupcakes. lol.

if you're still unclear i'll put it in pictures...a quiz if you will. i'll put several pictures and you tell me if they belong in King magazine or Maxim magazine...cool? good luck (fyi if you fail this test you should log off and shoot yourself). answers are below for those that need to check their score and make sure they got it. lol.

ok...hopefully that wasn't too difficult. and yes i know i was wrong for that last picture but she was actually on the cover of one of the magazines mentioned so you get my point. lol.

now class...lets go over those answers. let the person next to you grade your paper if you know you might be tempted to cheat and change your answers like you did in high school. lol.

answers:

Paris Hilton: Maxim

Angel Lola Luv: King

Eva Longoria: Maxim (beautiful...but absolutely NO cakes)

Eva Longoria: Maxim

Melyssa Ford aka Jessica Rabbit: King Hall of Fame lol

Jennifer Aniston: Maxim

Vida Guerra: King

Esther Baxter: King

Azzereya: King

Eva Pigford: Maxim (trick question cause she got on King and i was just as "wtf"...she's hot but she has absolutely NO ASS people. when she was on the Apple Bottom ad campaign i threw away the 1 Nelly cd i owned even though it was a burned copy)

Buffy the Body: DEFINITELY King lol (not that cute at all but then again neither is Paris Hilton)

Kim Kardashian: King (dumb as a bag of rocks but still beautiful and still has a ridiculous body)

Nicole Richie: Anorexia Quarterly...or Maxim (she was on the cover of the latter)

anyway...you see my point? i have no personal issue with Tila other than the fact she laughs like a jackal and is as bright as a dim night light. but she is cute in her own way. i just don't understand who the fuck put her on the cover of King. although i will admit black men are starting to get more and more into asian women so that could be it. either way...it was a wtf moment for me.

and in case you thought i just made all this shit up...