Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Allow Me To Dust My Shoulder Off...

so...it's a been a minute...but w/a million things on my mind & while reading a few blogs by others i kind of got the itch to revisit an old playground of mine...this blog. not to mention it's hard to ALWAYS stuff what's on my mind into 140 character bitesize portions so to get started & give people a vibe (as well as re-familiarize myself w/this blog) i thought i'd dust a few posts off...a few of my favorites. i'll try to come around a bit more often moving forward so enjoy & welcome...it's a celebration bitches!!

well actually...not yet...but you get the point...peace.

5 Women You Couldn't Pay Me To Sleep With


5 Categories Men Put Women Into

The Difference Between Soul Food & Slave Food

The Top 4 Dating Mistakes Women Make

What I THINK REALLY Happened...

Monday, September 15, 2008

politics as usual...

funny skit from this past weekend's snl show. i called Tina Fey playing VP candidate Sarah Palin the day they announced she was McCain's running mate. but to finally see it is crazy how alike they look. Tina Fey killed it with her impression.

aside from the humor there's actually a lot of truth and a lot of good points in the skit. from pointing out how ignorant and uninformed Palin is to basically calling out the media at the end...this skit was too good to not share.

enjoy.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

wtf?! vol. X...

ok...i'm really not sure how to categorize this one. i won't say too much so that people who watch it can make up their own minds. just check out the video. let me know what you think. leave a comment. is it real? is he serious? i have no idea but i'm keeping my thoughts to myself for now. i want to let the video speak for itself at this point.

peace.

wtf?! vol. IX

i know it's been a week and a half or so since i hit this up...it's been crazy...busy two weeks. but this i couldn't pass up or let slide without asking wtf?! is wrong with these people?

why? who told them this shit was hot? who told them it was ok to do this let alone make a video for it? some people get mad when i say that sometimes my people embarrass me...so to those people i ask...how does this video make YOU feel?

exactly.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

it's go time...

it's about that time...


with Hillary stopping the state roll call asking for a nomination by acclamation a few minutes ago it's now official. Barack Obama has become the first Black nominee for a major political party.

this is the closest any minority has come to become president of the United States of America. it isn't over. it's just beginning. but it is finally time to get down to the final battle...his final test to get IN the Whitehouse is just starting. but Hillary definitely put the final touches on making it official with her powerful speech last night at the Democratic National Convention. she called out McCain and called her supporters who said they'd vote for McCain to get back at Obama out as well. she was very impressive and showed she could be a strong candidate in the future. but for now she is fully behind our current nominee and our true chance for change and a living legend. the next 3 months won't be easy at all and i never really thought i would see someone come this far in my lifetime. or at least not before i had grandchildren...maybe in my 60s but definitely not at 27.

do you realize what's happening right now? all those stories we read about MLK and Malcom X and Harriet Tubman and Rosa Parks...THIS IS THAT BIG if not bigger. A BLACK MAN IS THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE! do you have ANY idea how crazy this really is? just saying this 4 years ago would have gotten you laughed at. saying it just 40/50 years ago would have probably gotten you killed.

it's an exciting time to be alive. with all of the Black people out there working so hard to embarrass us as a people and make us look like a bunch of ignorant clowns (Plies, Shawty Lo, Flavor Flav, mediatakeout, and all the people on hotghettomess.com) it feels good to have a Black man to look up to and one that is doing what no one before him has been able to do.

oh yes...it is officially Obama Time.

productdose...

it's been a while since i visited one of my favorite sites online so i thought a little productdose.com would be good for today. it's been a minute and a few of the things below were too good not to share. enjoy.

1. Nose Shower Gel Dispenser |via CribCandy|

so it goes up in your shower on the wall. looks like a giant nose (they come in brown and tan too...you've got to love that) and when you push the nostrils it dispenses whatever you put in it. shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, etc.

now if you have this you HAVE to get green shower gel at least once. it just wouldn't be right if you didn't. or maybe one of those shower gels that have little beads in them so that it looks chunky green. might as well go all out if you're going to go there at all.

this thing would be worth a few laughs when someone stayed with you and i can't help but think it would put a smile on your face when you woke up each morning. start the day with a little laugh to yourself about this ridiculous shower gel dispenser you have in your shower.

2. Trampoline Coffee Table |via ThisNext|

ok...this one just sounds like trouble. i'm not really sure how big this thing is or why in god's name you would want the center of your coffee table to be a trampoline but then again i can't really think of a reason why not.

judging by the size of the candle on the edge of the table this thing isn't big enough for more than one average sized person to jump on and even then i'm not sure it's a good idea. but hey...why not right? if having absolutely ridiculous things in your house is your style then so far you're two for two with this and the item above.

3. Chrono-Shredder Calendar |via Yanko|

this one i would love to actually have at work. it's a calendar that shreds the previous date when it's time for the new one.

it literally shows you days past and time wasted once it shreds the day altogether. not sure if it does it automatically or if you have to push a button but who cares? the idea is just different and seems like something that would be cool to have on the wall in general.

now all i need is a clock where the numbers fall off as time goes by and my collection will be complete! this thing is actually pretty big. if you click the link to the vendor that makes it above you'll see a person standing next to it to get an idea of just how big this thing is. the paper in the calendar is regular sized notebook/printer paper as a reference for size.

4. Scented Laptops |via Trendhunter|

not sure why or who would be interested in this one but hey...you never know right? right. anyway. this is a line of scented colorful laptops. i'm sure the colors correlate with the scent of each laptop.

although i'm just guessing...i can be the black one smells the worse. they probably made it smell like black licorice or some bullshit like that. couldn't possibly be blackberry or something.

it actually comes in 4 difference scents to choose from regardless of the graphic color or design you choose. not sure how they decided 4 scents people would want their laptop to smell like though.

"he says, she says" vol. II

"he says, she says..." where we pick a topic then give you the perspective from both sides of the sex spectrum.

today's topic: women want it just as much as men do


he says:

this topic is one of the oldest in the world but for some reason it's still one of the most talked about. i think that the facts are often pretty easy to agree on but there are other little factors that cause the debate to go on forever. things like double standars...if a man sleeps around he's a pimp but if a woman does she's a hoe. if a man is up front then he's confident and knows what he wants but if a woman is the same way she's easy and a slut for not being private. a lot of our issues in society come from old traditional roles and the naturally sexist nature of most religions (that's another topic). most societal rules and religious systems are built around suppressing women and keeping them reserved in the background and not really seen or heard in many ways. shit...that's why so many women in church's are freaks and a pastor's daughter can probably show you the greatest night of your life. but again...that's all another discussion for another time.


the issue here actually comes from how we talk about sex in general (and yes the picture above is an actual poster from the 50s). when it comes to sex...a man is "getting some" whereas a woman is "giving it up." shit...why is it for them to give up and for us to be so happy to get? i know most men are just happy to hit anything that will let them so that plays a part but those of us that can be selective are. shit a woman is lucky to "get some" from me. we're both benefiting in this situation so i'll be damned if i should feel lucky. women want the D just as much as we want to give it to them. you don't think so? ask all these cougars running around here trying to game up and fuck these young dudes. women don't hit their peak later...they just learn later in life that it's better to be up front about what you want than play all the games younger women still play when it comes to getting their needs met. most younger women who try this are usually not smart enough to do the same without becoming hoes in the process.

then you have all these products to increase female libido like they have no sex drive. women have one but it just runs on different types of fuel than a man's. a man can see an attractive woman and not know anything about her OR know her and not like her but will still be able to have sex with her and separate his feelings from his needs. women typically put more emotion into who they sleep with because they do feel like they're giving it away. some women act like they don't but they end up emotionally confused and fucked up later in life trying to act like men. we're not built the same.

a woman has desires and physical needs and will sometimes give in to those just to get satisfied or release that tension but they typically don't. they think just as many nasty sexual thoughts as men but are taught to keep those within. a lot of women aren't open about what they want for fear of being judged. and when a woman does she's looked at differently and judged even by fellow women who WISH they had the confidence to be that open and up front about what they want without caring who they offend or what insecure men think of her.


so yes...at the end of the day women want it just as much as men do. but because of how we are raised, how we are built emotionally and society's little unspoken rules they have to carry themselves differently. it's ok for us to be sex fiends and promiscuous without being judged because the worst thing people will of us is that "oh they're just men...that's how they're supposed to be."

i definitely feel my women out there and sympathize for you. but i guess that's another reason it's great to be a guy. we get to act like animals sometimes and not be judged for it. although i try to carry myself as a gentleman and am never crude i still can appreciate the fact that we have the freedom to be our primal selves and still be accepted.


she says:

Yes it’s true that oftentimes, women want it just as bad – if not worse than men.


Studies have proved that the older we get, the more horny we are. Conversations with

older women have proved that the older we get, the less tolerant we are of your bullshit, and the

easier it is for us to ‘fuck and get up’ so to speak.


As the world turns – so does the things that us women are able to voice. We used to be required to

be reserved and if we were sexually expressive we were better known as whores.

Today we have the power to tell someone we want them sexually without worrying about the consequences.

If we ask for it, and it’s given correctly we may even act a damn fool. Look at Vivica Fox hopping over brick

walls, stalking people all because she got some good penis. Damn 50.


Look at what happened once Ray J and Kim Kardashian released that sex tape. He had women like Whitney

Houston calling for that ‘d’. And Tyra Banks throwing that old wolf pussy at him.

We no longer have to be reserved and wait for him to make the first pass, hoping that will lead to the last pass.

And we are much better at asking you to bang it out and then telling you to get the hell out. We no longer are

interested in the aftermath cuddling. And now that the roles have reversed you will find men wanting what we

used to want. Affection. When we act affectionless, men can’t comprehend it so in return they crave affection, and

also act affectionate in needs of it being reciprocated.

Nowadays good ‘d’ is like a winning lottery ticket – everyone wants it. And don’t let us find out YOU have it - ask Mariah Carey… we will hunt you dowwwwwn….


Next we’ll be making babies then dropping them off on baby daddies porch only to be summons with a child support order months later.


How times have changed.

Monday, August 25, 2008

wtf?! vol. VIII...

this is wrong. just plain fucking wrong. why? why? gotdammit WHY?! how do you do someone's mother like this? lord. and of all the times too? jesus.

ok...let me just get this over with. so...here's a picture of Michael Phelps (greatest olympic swimmer ever Michael Phelps) with his mother. proud mother (as she should be).


now...here's a picture of his mother that hit the internet this week.


can you say a gotdamn shame? why would someone do his momma like this? it's supposedly from an ex who took the picture "years ago." first...i won't judge her old ass for being laid out like that cause i'm sure it was fueled by a few sips and some emotional feelings for whoever took the picture. but damn...if you take pictures like this with your old ass make sure that person STAYS your man OR get those pictures back when it doesn't work out. cause this is just a travesty. a hot ass mess of a situation. not 100% it's her but either way that's just wrong. ladies...watch who you let have these pictures of you. or make sure there's an understanding beforehand. cause some dudes can be bitchmade and bitter and pull little get-back shit like a 12 year old girl.

i understand moms could still be a freak and might be getting the "D" on the regular from somewhere but letting this shit leak out is just completely uncalled for.

thank god i ate lunch already or my day would be fucked up at this point too. i gotta go pray. cause all this is making me feel like i need Jesus in MY life.

peace.

**************************************************

UPDATE: i thought i should add a little note before anyone else hits me up concerned about the pictures above.

YES i know that's not his mother. the eyes and nose are not the same at all. the point was it's a funny picture and it shows how ignorant mediatakeout is with some of the shit they just post and think about later. they will LITERALLY post ANYTHING that ANYONE sends in. trust me on this one. if anyone missed the irony and sarcasm in this post then i apologize that you couldn't tell the difference.

peace.

wtf?! vol. VII

what in the HELL is wrong with K-Ci & Jo Jo? man...does anyone remember when Jodeci was the shit? i mean even DruHill was just a Jodeci carbon copy. but i swear...drugs...drinking and just issues in general ruined Jodeci. K-Ci & JoJo actually held it down the longest after Devonte was cracked out on that shit.

but now...man...it's all bad. just watch the video below. i won't say too much and cause the video pretty much speaks for itself. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. but just watch and if you can't see what i mean then trust me you will know by the half way mark that these cats are on that shit. off that "ooh-wee!" i guess cocaine really is a helluva drug.

peace.

5 bad chicks with snake butts...

a little under 2 months ago i posted about Tila Tequila on the cover of King and the term "snakebutt" since i used it in the piece. for those that missed it or missed the definition of the term...here it is:

snake-butt (sneyk buht) Slang. a woman who, like a snake, has an ass; but if asked to, you could not immediately point it out or identify where it is.

so...with that i had a few people hit me up saying they were upset (all in fun of course...no one REALLY upset...at least i don't think so) that i discredited all the little booty honeys in the world and/or that a woman didn't have to have a nice ass (or evidently an ass at all) to be hot. now...i actually agree with that. so in light of that fact and to show my support for little booty honeys all over the world i present "5 Bad Chicks w/ Snakebutts." enjoy.

1. Cassie


Cassie in a word is BAD. no question about it. she's beautiful...has ridiculous lips & eyes and can dance. her singing not so much but she gets a pass because nowadays most singers selling records can't (i blame the people BUYING that shit not the people MAKING it). she's FIRE in her new video and even though i laugh and think "aww...that's so cute" when she does close ups of her butt i still can appreciate a good pair of boyshorts to accent what little booty she's working with. people love to call her Puffy's side piece or bust it baby but call her what you want the girl is bad...period.

2. Kerry Hilson



Kerry Hilson's video for her first single "energy" is currently on my short list for sexiest video of 2008. she doesn't look like or sound like anyone else in the game right now and that only makes her that much hotter. ass or no ass Kerry Hilson could get it. shit i might buy the album just because. i'm sure most of the songs will be more for women than guys but i gotta show my support for a chick this bad. i think i might go youtube that video right now.

3. Nicole Scherzinger


ok...so no i don't know her but i think i may possibly be in love with this girl. this girl is actually bad enough to make me listen to the Pussycat Dolls...now i won't buy the album BUT i will admit that i have downloaded "buttons" and "when i grow up" and have bumped those in the whip before...windows up of course. lol. but it's not just that she's beautiful...her swagger is crazy and you can see it in every video. singing "dontcha" you HAVE to be bad AND confident...Nicole is both...with little to no cakes to speak of.

4. Kourtney Kardashian


one of the OTHER Kardashian sisters. everyone knows Kim of course for different reasons. she definitely has the best body hands down of the 3 but in my opinion Kourtney is the cutest (the third isn't ugly...she's just not pretty compared to her sisters so she ends up being the ugly sister in THIS family...although Kim and Kourtney are tied for the dumbest sister so i guess it all works out) of the three. she's hot every time you see her and just too fucking cute to ignore. she's like a littler...cuter Kim Kardashian without the ass and without the whole "i got peed on by Ray J" thing.

5. Jessica Alba


white america loves Jessica now but we had her in "Honey" first. she was a hip hop dancing honey from the hood who just wanted to make it as a choreographer. the fact that she couldn't dance and really doesn't have any ass didn't stop her from doing her thing in the movie and hasn't kept her from being bad ever since. Jessica...like Cassie...has pretty eyes and nice lips so her overall beauty is incredible while not having any real cakes to speak of.

other notable women who didn't make the list include Lucy Lui, Angelina Jolie, Kerry Washington, Dania Ramirez and Meagan Fox.

the point is no...a woman does not have to have a nice ass to be attractive or even bad. a woman can have a very nice petite body with no video girl curves and still be a banger. hopefully now that i've made lists of women with and without curves who are all hot we can let this show that beautiful women come in many shades and shapes (not all...but many). i still think any woman 250lb heavy or Nichole Richie boney are nasty as hell but i'm willing to work with those in between the extremes.

peace.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

5 categories men put women into...

there's this old email/blog that people send around about the 4 categories of women. what role they play so to speak...including wifey, baby girl, side piece and jump off. this helps by trying to narrow down what role a woman plays in a man's life.


but what it doesn't list is how men look at women. for the majority...there are 5 categories men put women into. so i thought it might be helpful if not interesting to lay those out for people. some men may not even realize the difference which is why you have dudes wifing up one-night-stand material.

NOTE: BEFORE READING FORWARD...YOU WILL NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT NO...NOT ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS OR PRINCESSES AND NO NOT ALL WOMEN ARE RELATIONSHIP WORTHY OR GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL. THERE ARE SOME WOMEN (AND MEN) WHO ARE JUST NOT SUITED FOR THOSE ROLES. IT'S REALITY. SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE.

moving on...here are my 5 categories men put women into with brief explanations as well as some examples of women i think fit each category. enjoy.

1. Wifeable

wifeable is the one. the most rare and priceless of women. this is a woman who is not only girlfriend material but long-term relationship/settle down and raise children with material. she has her own opinions, goals, aspirations etc and supports her man in his. she is attractive inside and out. a woman you can take around your family, friends or anywhere you go. she is a great friend as well as a lover and a partner. she doesn't play games...isn't immature and gives herself completely to a man that does the same. the issue with wifeable is that if you don't realize what you have you could lose it only to regret it forever once you realize what you lost. she's "the one" in so many words. a "keeper." the problem is when men meet her too early or before they're ready to settle down she can end up being "the one that got away."




2. Walkable

walkable is the honey you love dating and hanging out with. she meets friends and is someone you have no problem taking out. she doesn't always meet moms or family but that's only because she may not be long-term. something tells you she's good right now but you don't see a "forever" with her. that's the basic difference between her and wifeable. she's hot. sexually compatible. cool to be around. that bomb ass girlfriend but something tells you that she's eventually going to be your "next ex." this is the woman we date in college or after that eventually ends up as an ex girlfriend. sometimes a man will think about her sexually from time to time but there's never a desire to try the relationship again once it's over. This is the girl you will call from time to time after cause you miss her and she made you feel you good.




3. Flossable

this female is typically flyer and physically more attractive than walkable and wifeable. the difference is this honey is high maintenance...not always that bright and often gets on your fucking nerves. the issue is...SHE'S BAD AS SHIT. this is the hot chick. she's beautiful...fly girl style...BANGIN body but can be annoying as hell, dumb as a bag of bricks. but...because she's hot most men will put up with her shit just to be seen with her. she's not long term (unless you're an athlete and don't mind wifing her while you fuck other women on the side) and eventually you just tire of her after her looks and sex game are no longer enough to help overlook her fonky attitude and wack ass personality.



4. Fuckable

fuckable is often incredible in bed. often very giving and like a pornstar behind closed doors. she typically has an incredible body or some amazing physical trait you can't get out your mind. the problem is she's either ugly or doesn't know how to act in public. because of that she's fuckable...but not walkable and DEFINITELY not wifeable. this is the girl you call to come through late at night and kick it alone and you both know what's going down. you'd never go out on a date or take her out as "your girl" because you don't want anyone (including her) getting that impression. some call this the "booty call" or "jump off." she's the girl with the big ass that you call to come through at 1130 at night and get out early the next morning. she can actually be around longer than most girlfriends because she's often dependable and someone to fall back on. she's also typically the best you ever had or will have sexually because she's uninhibited and puts it DOWN so some men will hide her while paying her bills. this is also typically the woman who men cheat on their wives or girlfriends with because she'll do things they won't or she'll do them better w/out acting like a 12 year old child about it (NOTE: saying "ugh that's nasty i'm not doing that" to your man is the quickest way to get him to find miss fuckable).

now...there are cases where a woman is not ugly and her face is as attractive as her body but she still falls into this category for one or more reasons...such as her reputation for being a hoe or everyone having hit it. so fuckable can also be the woman that every man WANTS to fuck even though not all men will ADMIT IT because she smashed SEVERAL of the homies...so you front in public like "she's a hoe, everyone hit that, i'm not fuckin w/her" but when no one's looking you know you're gonna call her to come through.




5. Despicable

not sure i really need to explain this one. despicable is probably too harsh of a word. but it more refers to the physical attraction factor...there is none. this can be the homegirl who is STRICTLY platonic and not attractive to you in any way. or...this can be the girl you find unattractive and can't stand. it's basically every woman who doesn't fall into one of the above categories.



well...hopefully this helps the guys as well as the women. if you have any questions about which category you're in think about your current situation or your last 3 situations and you should be able to see which girl you are if you're honest with yourself. again...not all women are wifeable or even walkable. so if you and your 4 friends read this and all think you fall into one of the first two categories then someone in denial.

peace.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

"he says, she says..." vol. I

first installment of "he says, she says..." where we pick a topic then give you the perspective from both sides of the sex spectrum.

today's topic: women are gold diggers because men are tricks


he says:

first off...it IS tricking whether you have it or not. having money doesn't change the rules of the game. shit...the biggest tricks in the world are the ones with money cause they can afford to be bigger tricks than most.

with that established...the idea that women are gold diggers because men are tricks is a good example of a hand in hand relationship. for instance...if it rains then the ground gets wet. if you keep eating everything in sight you'll be fat eventually. these are all examples of things that go hand in hand meaning one typically comes with the other and that you can't have one without the other. it's like the chicken & the egg...no one knows which came first but you can't have one without the other.

gold diggers CREATE tricks and tricking in turn CREATES gold diggers.

men...when all you talk about and focus on is your watch...what kind of car you drive and brag about how much you make then a women gets the idea that's all you have to offer. think about every other rap song right now...4 out of 5 songs are talking about who's ballin and how much money the rapper has (which is typically a lie anyway but that's another subject) and what they can buy for woman. with that said how the hell can men be surprised all women want is money when that's ALL YOU ACT LIKE YOU HAVE TO OFFER?! fucking retards. if all you do is brag about your bank account why would she give a shit about anything else? how many rappers talk about how women didn't want them when they were broke now they're getting ass left and right? that doesn't sound like a pimp...that sounds like a trick to me.

women...when all you do is talk to the guy with the nice car and nice watch or the one taking you to benihana's and the cheesecake factory then yes you typically end up with a materialistic shallow situation wondering why the fuck the man you're with is useless past his money. hint: those of us that don't have to trick to get a woman's attention DON'T. men trick because most of them have no game, conversation or personality worth offering. most women are gold diggers because they're tired of dealing with typical male bullshit from broke dudes. they figure...if all men are dogs and assholes i might as well have one that's paid.

for this cycle to stop happening (lol good luck with that) men need to show they have something else to offer and women have to stop paying attention to the car and pay attention to the muthafucka driving it cause you're dating him not his car. and fyi if you sleep with a man with money you still go home broke baby. either way i guess it's all fair in love and war. everyone is trying to get ahead and no one wants to play the fool. the problem is most people out there are playing the fool anyway. dating is getting worse and worse and the quality of people out there is depressing sometimes.

to the men with some actual personality and sense that don't have to spend every dime they have to get a woman to spend 10 minutes with them...and to the women out there that appreciate being treated well but don't NEED to be supported and spoiled big ups and keep doing your thing.

to the men going broke trying to impress these hoes then getting mad when they only see your money and to the women that don't bring shit but an empty purse and an appetite...you all deserve one another. all i ask is that you all stick to one another and not waste the time of the people that are actually trying to keep their lives bullshit free and be about something.

-VSperiod


she says:

For decades both men and women have been going back and forth about the everlasting topic of Gold Diggers and Tricks.

Some may argue that men “trick” because women “dig” – others argue that women “dig” because men “trick.”


Whatever the cause, it is undeniable that both feed off of each other. If there were no money to be begged for, there’d be

no women “begging” and vice versa. It is safe to say that they have created their very own food chain in which both

need each other to survive. This behavior can be compared to many of things i.e. teasing a child with candy & toys wherein the

child is the woman and the toy is the money, car, jewels and gifts.

If you go back in time it was economic for women to stay home and run the house, while the man went out and made the

money. Although this was because women were expected to stay home to raise, and sometime home school the children,

money making was always expected of the man – which was normally the head of the household.

As time went on women gained rights – including the right to say HELL NO I’m not sittin’ in the house takin’ care of these

nappy-headed kids while you sit at the titty bar and trick off this week’s earnings – thus women began either working or


GOLD DIGGEN!!


Now here in 2008 – “gold digger” might as well be an occupation because millions of women throughout the U.S. and

beyond are making hell of an income from such. Women are even demanding pay per child in their prenuptial agreements.

While men continue to complain about money-hungry scavengers – at the same time they continue to purchase $100k cars,

Rolexes, and STILL use “I can take care of you, baby” as pick up lines. Can you blame those women that get with you


for a little bit of cash??


The only question at hand is which is it that rules the world? Money or Pussy?


Angie Jones aka iCeBoX