what i think happened...

a friend of mine emailed me the story below:

after reading it we emailed back and forth about how funny it was and what was this 64 year old woman thinking. (click the link and read the story first...it's not that long)

so...i responded with what I thought happened. how i thought it all went down. so this might be the first of me taking a news story where the facts aren't all there and giving my version or what i think went down. i'll find stories with blanks in them and fill in those blanks with what i think happened. because i have a blog now so i can do that if i feel like it.

so first...read the news story at the link below...then check below for what they're not telling you. or the whole story. raw and uncut!

the news story: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/state/20080605-1015-ca-odd-gasprotest-fires.html

my version:

Na…I’ll tell you exactly how it happened.

Old ass gangsta 64 year old Ruth Hollingsworth woke up Wednesday morning and decided to drive down to the liquor store and pick herself up some lotto tickets.

Upon starting her teal and red (door was repainted) 1983 crescida she realized she was low on gas. Now…she didn’t bring too much money cause she was just planning on picking up a few scratchers, some ripple, some seeds and some bigarrettes (yes…bigarrettes). When she saw how much gas was she said “oh HELL no…they must be out they muthafuckin mind if they think I’m payin fo’ thirty five to fill betsy (her whip) up. This is some BULLSHIT! I got these muthafuckas.”

So instead she busted a left and the light and went up in piggly wiggly’s and bought 11 fire logs with her seed and ripple money. She hit the gas station she passed first. Then another one. Then she realized she didn’t stop and get her ripple and seeds so she thought “let me run up in this starbucks and get something to sip on while I’m settin shit off this morning.” Now…Ruth is white but she’s a little hood so when she said medium and the girl at the counter started arguing about venti grande latte bullshit Ruth said “you know what…fuck the coffee. I’ll be RIGHT BACK” and she decided to blow THAT muthafucka up.

She boned out of there and went to Mickey D’s cause they have some pretty good coffee but then THEY told her “it’s 1034…we stop serving breakfast at 1030.” Once again…someone had tested Ruth’s gangsta on the wrong day. So…being the rider that she is she said “you know what…fuck you…fuck that big bitch over there on fries…fuck the retarded son of a bitch working drive thru and FUCK RONALD MCDONALD TOO! I’m finna blow THIS muthafucka up.”

But by this time the police had spotted that two tone crescidea & ran up on her in the line at the Mickey D's. End of story.

so that's MY version of what happened. you see the article didn't even know why she tried to blow up the starbuck's but i already knew. i already figured out how Ruth worked. and yes i know they said Diane in the article but that's the fake name she gave the cops. gangstas do that. never give your real name to the feds. ride or die! snitches get stitches!

WHAT?!