productdose...

it's been a while since i visited one of my favorite sites online so i thought a little productdose.com would be good for today. it's been a minute and a few of the things below were too good not to share. enjoy.

1. Nose Shower Gel Dispenser |via CribCandy|

so it goes up in your shower on the wall. looks like a giant nose (they come in brown and tan too...you've got to love that) and when you push the nostrils it dispenses whatever you put in it. shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, etc.

now if you have this you HAVE to get green shower gel at least once. it just wouldn't be right if you didn't. or maybe one of those shower gels that have little beads in them so that it looks chunky green. might as well go all out if you're going to go there at all.

this thing would be worth a few laughs when someone stayed with you and i can't help but think it would put a smile on your face when you woke up each morning. start the day with a little laugh to yourself about this ridiculous shower gel dispenser you have in your shower.

2. Trampoline Coffee Table |via ThisNext|

ok...this one just sounds like trouble. i'm not really sure how big this thing is or why in god's name you would want the center of your coffee table to be a trampoline but then again i can't really think of a reason why not.

judging by the size of the candle on the edge of the table this thing isn't big enough for more than one average sized person to jump on and even then i'm not sure it's a good idea. but hey...why not right? if having absolutely ridiculous things in your house is your style then so far you're two for two with this and the item above.

3. Chrono-Shredder Calendar |via Yanko|

this one i would love to actually have at work. it's a calendar that shreds the previous date when it's time for the new one.

it literally shows you days past and time wasted once it shreds the day altogether. not sure if it does it automatically or if you have to push a button but who cares? the idea is just different and seems like something that would be cool to have on the wall in general.

now all i need is a clock where the numbers fall off as time goes by and my collection will be complete! this thing is actually pretty big. if you click the link to the vendor that makes it above you'll see a person standing next to it to get an idea of just how big this thing is. the paper in the calendar is regular sized notebook/printer paper as a reference for size.

4. Scented Laptops |via Trendhunter|

not sure why or who would be interested in this one but hey...you never know right? right. anyway. this is a line of scented colorful laptops. i'm sure the colors correlate with the scent of each laptop.

although i'm just guessing...i can be the black one smells the worse. they probably made it smell like black licorice or some bullshit like that. couldn't possibly be blackberry or something.

it actually comes in 4 difference scents to choose from regardless of the graphic color or design you choose. not sure how they decided 4 scents people would want their laptop to smell like though.

cooter colors

the above is not what you think it is. i was checking out a friend's blog and came across something that looked interesting. honestly the color of the packages in the picture stopped me and made look long enough to figure out what it was.

i almost ignored it after a quick glance because it looks like hair dye or some beauty product that as a straight man with no hair (shave my head) i could give a shit about.

but after reading the title of the post and the first few lines i realized it was actually hair dye (like i thought) for the "hair down there" (NOT like i thought). that's right...pubic hair dye. conveniently located by the condoms, lube and massage oils (which is basically scented lube).

definitely some new shit i was not aware of but it's interesting to say the least. i mean...i'm not big on hairy women whose crotches look like Ben Wallace or a happy trail that leads to a wilderbeast patch...i prefer trimmed nicely...maybe a creative shape/design even or shaved but i must admit...neon bright pink hair would definitely make me pause to take a second look.

that's probably the funnest idea of these and i'm into creative things to liven up sex. the other regular colors i'm thinking are for women who dye their hair and want to have the carpet match the curtains or older women who are going gray in more places than one and want the cooter to look young and vibrant? who knows...either way i figured some of you might find this interesting. if you've been with your man for a while or if you're dating and just want to put an extra touch on it then trust me...a man pulling off the boyshorts and finding a bright pink patch (i wonder if it glows in the dark? THAT would be off the hook!) will definitely add something new and is almost sure to get a response from whoever comes across your newly colored cooter.

sidenote: we need a new word for a woman's genitalia cause all the current ones are horrible: cooter, pussy, monkey, don't don't, vajayjay, twat etc. ladies...get together with each other and have a round table and let us know what you come up with. if you need any assistance let us know.

peace.

just stop being lazy and wash your ass...

ok...first...here's the link for an article on a new trend that started in japan (but didn't take long for americans to turn it into the newest fad like they do so many other things).

basically they're carp fish (they're even calling them doctor fish...give me a fucking break) that work like most scavengers and shit eaters like crabs and leeches do. the same way some sea animals feed on whales...these little fish feed on crusty feet.

they swim around eating the dead skin off your feet and from in between your crusty nasty stankin ass toes. now...some say this is just using nature to our advantage...which would make sense if this were 10,000BC and we were the Flinstones. but in an age where vacuum cleaners push themselves, showers spray and clean themselves and there's a pill to help you do everything from losing your gut to fixing that cocked eye you have and to even give you a hard dick for 36 hours do we really need anything else to make us even more lazy?

i think if you need this then there's something wrong. or if this is what's up then fuck it...let's go all the way. lets find a snail that slides and slimes around and eats the germs that cause bad breath and we can call it listersnail. then lets find a spider that crawls up your ass and cleans your colon by balling up all your waste in a web that you shit out in one sticky webby ball of spider shit.

people...this should not be a trend. it's not hot. it's not creative. it's fucking nasty. because if i see a girl in there and all the fish are over in her area of the tank then i know that bitch is nasty and doesn't wash her feet let alone her stankin ass.

people...wash your feet. wash your ass and stop waiting for them to find an animal to come eat the crust off your stanking non-bathing ass. ya nasty sons a bitches.

that nu-nu...vol I

admittedly...i'm not that into fashion (to the point where i watch fashion tv or any of the reality shows about top designers etc) but i do like to get fresh and keep it fly on a regular basis (plus i have a subscription to GQ, Vibe, Complex and King magazine so i'm certified upscale fly while keeping it respectably hood...both a hustler mentality and a scholarly gentleman married with perfection). lol. plus i like seeing my people look good so on occassion i'll be posting some hot items that i will be referring to as that nu-nu.

there won't be any crazy shit like ice cream shoes or shirts (ugliest most overpriced tacky shit i've ever seen in my life) or denim suits or matching short sets (why does every rap-owned clothing label come out with a denim suit or a short set? this is what people buy when they have no style and need shit pre-matched for them) and of course no all-over-print hoodies...this is fly shit for grown ass people...those other things are tacky and played if you're over 12 years old. also...if you are a grown ass man and wearing anything with glitter on it or that looks like someone made it with a ghetto bedazzler you need your ass whooped. period. moving on...

so "nu-nu" for those unaware is a hood term for whatever the newest hottest items/things are on the market. so with that said...this is a little bit of that nu-nu for the summer.

1. time pieces

Philippe Starck watches for Fossil. they're actually based on a design Starck debuted in 2004's holiday season but he's made a new line with 3 watches for the guys and a single watch for women in different color variations.


2. some smell good

smells are a big part of attraction for me (and i know people are in to different things but i've never heard anyone say they like musty honeys so i'm sure i'm not the only one). so here are a few ideas of something fresh to spray on after you wash your ass.

Guerlain Acqua Allegoria Herba Fresca perfume

for the honeys that want a fresh...clean scent. it's actually infused with lemons and herbs. an invigorating mix of lily and cyclamen (whatever that is). good choice for a first date or going out.



Prada Metallic Limited Edition perfume

if you want more of a classic scent this metal box with the fabric label will work. a sandalwood oil base and patchouli leaves (NO IDEA what that is but it sounds sexy...say it with me...patchouli) makes for a sophisticated fragrance reminiscent of other Prada scents.


Jo Malone Lotus Blossom & Water Lily cologne

this cologne is actually based on Jo Malone's interpretation of Kohdo, an ancient Japanese incense ceremony that energizes the wearer and also invigorates the sexual urges of the woman with a use of natural scents to stimulate the hormones. mix of mandarin, lotus blossom, bamboo and aloeswood comes together for a very clean refreshing scent.

Susanne Lang Vanilla Coconut perfume

a mix of Tahitian vanilla, coconut and pineapple meet fig leaf and red torch ginger (don't know if i'm supposed to be horny or hungry?) to create a tropical spa-like scent. for the honeys that want to smell a little exotic or tropical. again...not sure if this will make a man want to talk to you or eat you but i guess both could be a good thing right?

that's it for now. i'll put some other stuff up later. i don't really think i'll be doing a lot of clothing items since styles vary and what you're into is your own choice. i'll be dealing more with accessories and fly things to accent your own style and upgrade your fresh.

sidenote: yes...i realize i put 3 perfumes and only one cologne but...seeing as how i care more about what the honeys smell like it made sense to me. any guys wanting a few tips on some good items to keep in the collection check out any Lacoste's scents, FCUK Him by French Connection UK, Very Sexy for Him by Victoria Secret and the classic Dolce.

stay away from Joop (unless you're over 56 and want to hit the Townhouse or the VFW) and Burberry (played out and even the real stuff is starting to smell bootleg).

peace.

the get it finger??

remember in elementary school girls used to play this game where they'd fold a piece of paper into a triangular puppet looking thing they opened and closed to answer questions or tell you your future? (yes girls we went along with it but 9 times out of 10 it was you that folded the paper and counted/wrote everything to get the answers at the end).

anyway...that game with the folded paper where you open close open close to answer random questions. remember? it was like the broke kid's magic eightball basically. the hood notebook paper origami fortune teller.

so...some company has apparently taken it to the next level and made an oven mitt (called the "get it finger"...which is just too easy for me to run a completely different direction with it but i'll leave that alone) based on that childhood game. i'm sure some people would love to get their hands on this and think it's the cutest shit ever so the company's website is listed below the picture. i just thought it was hilarious what people can sell nowadays.

i'm sure someone you know is buying this at urban outfitters at this very moment.


http://www.bookofjoe.com/get-it-finger

productdose...

so my friend put me up on this site called "productdose" that basically finds the craziest shit on the market that people are actually selling (and buying) and puts it online for people to see. just looking around for 5 minutes i came across some crazy items. i put a quick few of them below.

digital usb pot. the digital screen on the side tells you how your plant is "feeling." so the frowning face for instance means "water me you neglectful son of a bitch before i dry up and die." at least i think that's what it means. although...i'd be a little freaked out if i walked through the house at night and saw a bunch of little frowning faces all over the place.


glide toaster. ok...so...you slide the toast in one end. it glides through (while being toasted) and then ends up in the rack waiting to be buttered or jellied or whatever you do with your toast. my issue is...someone would be in the kitchen and mistake this for a dish rack and then i have soapy water in my toaster. so now my sandwiches all taste like soap which i'm assuming would lead to a bad case of the bg's (bubble guts for those not familiar with the bg's). still looks kind of cool though.


ora unica watch. this one i would actually buy. i have no idea how this works or how it looks at all times of the day but basically that little line in the middle is the minute hand and the longer end on the outside is the minute hand. the swirls vibrate or something to denote the seconds. and i know there are no numbers so if you put it on upside down (or with the invisible 12 where the invisible 6 should be) then you're pretty much fucked for the day.