politics as usual...

funny skit from this past weekend's snl show. i called Tina Fey playing VP candidate Sarah Palin the day they announced she was McCain's running mate. but to finally see it is crazy how alike they look. Tina Fey killed it with her impression.

aside from the humor there's actually a lot of truth and a lot of good points in the skit. from pointing out how ignorant and uninformed Palin is to basically calling out the media at the end...this skit was too good to not share.

enjoy.

wtf?! vol. VIII...

this is wrong. just plain fucking wrong. why? why? gotdammit WHY?! how do you do someone's mother like this? lord. and of all the times too? jesus.

ok...let me just get this over with. so...here's a picture of Michael Phelps (greatest olympic swimmer ever Michael Phelps) with his mother. proud mother (as she should be).


now...here's a picture of his mother that hit the internet this week.


can you say a gotdamn shame? why would someone do his momma like this? it's supposedly from an ex who took the picture "years ago." first...i won't judge her old ass for being laid out like that cause i'm sure it was fueled by a few sips and some emotional feelings for whoever took the picture. but damn...if you take pictures like this with your old ass make sure that person STAYS your man OR get those pictures back when it doesn't work out. cause this is just a travesty. a hot ass mess of a situation. not 100% it's her but either way that's just wrong. ladies...watch who you let have these pictures of you. or make sure there's an understanding beforehand. cause some dudes can be bitchmade and bitter and pull little get-back shit like a 12 year old girl.

i understand moms could still be a freak and might be getting the "D" on the regular from somewhere but letting this shit leak out is just completely uncalled for.

thank god i ate lunch already or my day would be fucked up at this point too. i gotta go pray. cause all this is making me feel like i need Jesus in MY life.

peace.

**************************************************

UPDATE: i thought i should add a little note before anyone else hits me up concerned about the pictures above.

YES i know that's not his mother. the eyes and nose are not the same at all. the point was it's a funny picture and it shows how ignorant mediatakeout is with some of the shit they just post and think about later. they will LITERALLY post ANYTHING that ANYONE sends in. trust me on this one. if anyone missed the irony and sarcasm in this post then i apologize that you couldn't tell the difference.

peace.

wtf?! vol. VII

what in the HELL is wrong with K-Ci & Jo Jo? man...does anyone remember when Jodeci was the shit? i mean even DruHill was just a Jodeci carbon copy. but i swear...drugs...drinking and just issues in general ruined Jodeci. K-Ci & JoJo actually held it down the longest after Devonte was cracked out on that shit.

but now...man...it's all bad. just watch the video below. i won't say too much and cause the video pretty much speaks for itself. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. but just watch and if you can't see what i mean then trust me you will know by the half way mark that these cats are on that shit. off that "ooh-wee!" i guess cocaine really is a helluva drug.

peace.

Robert Child Molester Kelly...

i know i'm a little late but honestly i didn't want to talk about it because he disgusts me and i kind of knew he'd get off. so my issue wasn't that he got off(although i was surprised with the lame ass reason they let him off which was even worse of an excuse than OJ...and yes...OJ also did it and should also be in jail...i don't give a fuck what ethnicity they are) but more at how happy some people were and how man women continue to support him. to anyone that thinks i'm just hating...you're beyond my help and too blind to see what's going on and thing child molesters and pedophiles are just misunderstood huh? well...i won't try to change your mind. but to those with some kind of common sense...

put simply...R. Kelly should be in prison

let's go ahead and get the bullshit out the way. R Kelly is a molester (not a rapist cause the little girls in the video were fast and pretty much already hoes...which is not unheard of since we all know hoes we went to school with when we were 15) a pervert and a pedophile.

the fucked up ironic part is that the one's supporting him (aside from other pedophile molester ass men) are women. most dudes stopped fucking with R Kelly like that a while ago (and any dude still using his music to game girl up or set the mood are WAY out of touch and are probably fishing for rats anyway). his music has turned into audio coonery about braids and peach cobbler but women still love and support this nigga. this muthafucka even named himself the Pied Piper and started running around with a cloth mask on with his grown ass!! now...many of you may know the children's tale about a Pied Piper. but some may not know that the children's story was made up because there was a person they called the Pied Piper who used to lure children with toys and music and kidnap them to rape them and kill them. now...you think it's a coincidence this child molester ass Robert chose that as a nick name?

anyone with a little sister or a daughter should not only not support the decision (i don't give a fuck what anyone says...moles can be removed...he fucked and pissed on those little girls) of him not going to jail they should stop going to his shows and let him know that shit is not ok. he's no different than the 32 year old niggas that hang out around high schools trying to game up some little 15 year old (who is dumb and naive as hell and thinks an older man actually means something when grown man who fucks with 15 year olds ain't about shit either) because a grown ass woman is too smart to fall for their lame ass games.

however...pedophilia in the black community is nothing new. it has been widely done and widely ignored because there are so many older black men who try to approach and sleep with little teenage high school and jr high school girls. people have not only done it and let it slide...many artists have even talked about it proudly with no shame in their songs. don't believe me? check these quotables out:

DeVoe in Do Me, Baby by Bel Biv DeVoe - "backstage ,underage, adolescence, how ya doin? fine she replied, high side i like to do the wild thing"

Snoop Dogg in Only In California by Mack 10 - "i'm hangin at the high school gettin at them young bitches."

LL Cool J in Big Ol Butt - "she's only 16...but yo she's a freak."

not to mention every woman knows a nasty older man that tried to get at them when they were little whether it be a nasty friend of the family, some random old man at the store or an overly friendly pastor or member of their church.

black women wonder why they don't get respect in today's society? try not supporting every single artist that degrades you like Plies and molestor ass singers like R Kelly (cause it's not the dudes buying those albums or going to their shows). either way...this fruitcake ass dude needs to be in prison.

in the news...

not a lot going on today. tired from a long (but good) 3 1/2 day weekend and my god daughter's first birthday part sunday. kind of drained. and i think one of those biological warfare ass little kids got me sick. but...still thought i'd share a few interesting things i read today.

enjoy. (you can click any of the titles to read the original articles).

1. Italian Vogue releases their "Black" issue

Italian Vogue (which is huge in the fashion world) released an all black-model issue to push the statement that "black is beautiful" which still hasn't caught on in a lot of circles (other than the african models with baby afros they use for runway shows). i don't read Vogue or follow fashion like that but i'm happy to see chocolate honeys get their shine.

2. Woman killed because she wanted out of arranged marriage

this is just crazy. i'll let you read the article and won't say too much other than some cultural traditions are just stupid to me. i know it's hard to change what you've been told all your life but education should help show us the errors of a lot of things we hold onto in the name of "tradition." the problem is a lot of people just do things because that's just "how i was raised" or "that's how it's done" etc.

3. Starbuck's closing cartoons

a collection of some comics about Starbuck's closing which pretty much express my thoughts on the subject. i don't drink coffee but even if i did having only 2 on my block instead of 3 is not going to kill anyone.

although...you know it's bad when they're closing. i wonder how much this has to do with Dunkin and McDonald's trying to step their latte game up.

4. Gay marriage back in the news

look...i don't think ugly or stupid people should be able to get married and make more ugly dumb kids together but the difference is you don't see me protesting their right to do it. i don't care who marries who gay straight ugly fat or otherwise.

now...before someone throws the bible argument in there...half the people that use that argument probably haven't read the bible for themselves and not everyone shares the beliefs you have (even though a lot of people mainly have them because they were raised with them but that's another issue). the quran muslims should not drink alcohol or eat pork but you don't see them protesting someone at TGIF taking patron shots in between bites of their pulled pork sandwhich...cause it's NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS.

i'm not gay or married but if someone wants to marry someone of the same sex i don't give a fuck. shit i don't care about straight marriages. other than my eventual marriage in the future i could care less who marries who. and the nerve of people to say it's sacred when we have all these "Who Wants to Marry A Bachelor" shows and Flavor Flav's old roach-lookin ass on tv fucking 22 year olds. man please. save that bullshit for someone who's dumb enough to buy it. people love getting worked up for issues that aren't important rather than focusing on why our kids aren't getting any education worth a shit and why so many minorities end up in prison or why our economy is going to hell. with all this going on you want worry about Chuck & Larry shackin up and tying the knot? who cares? if you don't believe in it then DON'T DO IT. but i wish people would stop pushing their beliefs on other people and stop wasting my time and tax money on this dumb shit and work on getting these crazy ass gas prices back under control.

and isn't "mind your own business" or "worry about yourself not everyone else" something people teach their kids? i swear...no wonder kids are so fucked up these days when the adults of the world are a bunch of hypocrites and liars.

5. Black athlete qualifies for Olympic swim team

that's kind of big right? don't know if we'll take this one over like we did basketball or football among others though. we might just have to hope for a Tiger Woods-like situation where there are still not A LOT of brothas but at least one that's whoopin people's asses on a regular basis.

that's it for now. just a few things i read that were kind of cool interesting stories.

peace.

wackest rappers alive cont...

i don't know how i missed this dude the first time i posted the top 5 wackest rappers alive but he definitely deserves a spot in the top 5 if not the number 1 spot in that list. better late than never. i would probly move tony yayo to number 6 and leave khia in the 5 spot with this cat being on the list at number 1 or number 2 (probably tied for number 1).

Plies

in the game since: 2006

recent quotable: "if i wahn't married to the streets it'd be you/yo lips what make you so cute/love when you poke yo mouth out when you mad too/save your number in my phone under lil boo/jus gave her a nickname it's wet wet/cause when we finish she mess up all my bedsets"

people who bought the album: are probably women who keep ending up in fucked up dumb going-nowhere relationships and have no idea why they're man isn't about anything (hint: if your selection in men is anything like your taste in music...)

aside from looking like a ghetto version of kirk franklin and sounding like he's half way retarded this has to be the worst rapper of all time in all of the categories i used rate the people on the list. on top of that he calls himself and his crew goons. goons are not just thugs they've always been known as the dumb ass thugs so it's self explanatory. this is another artist who can't possibly write the rhymes he spits because there's no way someone actually puts time and effort and comes up with anything this cliche, played out, elementary and mentally simplistic. for these reasons and absolutely no depth or originality in anything he's spit i give you Plies...the wackest rapper alive. in the words of Lil Wayne (which supposedly has started some beef with Plies) "ok you're a goon but what's a goon to a goblin?"

consider the list edited!

peace.

5 wackest rappers alive...

everyone is always trying to make lists of who the hottest emcees or the best rappers of all time are but it never ends up being agreeable because depending on where you're from you might not agree (although i think there are some people who are hot whether you feel them or not). then on top of that we can't seem to move on past 2pac and Biggie unless you say best rappers alive right now etc. but either way...i'm tired of the hottest emcees alive lists so i thought i'd change it up and make a top (or bottom) 5 wackest rappers alive.

the funny part is after looking at everyone that's in the game right now this list was almost harder to come up with than the top 5 because there are so many wack people out there putting out garbage ass music over hot beats (and some not so hot beats). the problem is most consumers now pay attention to the beat and ignore any attempt at lyrics. because of this a wack rapper can pay for a hot beat and make it big with a hit that a 12 year old could have written.

so let me say before i reveal the rappers on this list...in making this list i was judging them on several things:

1. lyrical skill: pretty self explanatory, how good of an emcee are they lyrically (strong lyricists include Lupe Fiasco, Eminem, Andre 3000, Jay Z)

2. flow and ability to ride a beat: do they sound the same on every song or do they actually know how to ride an instrumental? (good examples of people who have incredible flow are Jay Z, T.I., Andre 3000, Kanye West, Ludacris)

3. overall creativity and originality: (are you saying the same shit we've heard a million times and basically just reciting old Jay Z lyrics or are you actually trying to be creative and come up with something we haven't heard?)

4. diversity & growth: finally they will be graded on whether they actually have some depth and diversity and if they've been out for a few albums...have they grown or pretty much stayed where they were when they came in the game or if they just say the same shit over and over and over and over again and are on the same shit they've been on from jump. also...let me just say before i do this...if you disagree i really don't care. you may just have bad taste and not know it. i don't blame you...some people like liver & onions for dinner and think cuba gooding jr can act so you're not alone...some people like wack things.

with that said...here's your list...the "Top 5 Wackest Rappers In the Game."

1. Shawty Lo (wackest of the wack)

in the game since: 2007 (solo) 2005 (with d4l)

recent quotable: "hey-hey-hey, hey how you doin it's L-O/seven seat three i'm the one in the middle/and i don't need a beat i can rock it acapello/no one but two, all i needed was a skittle"

people who bought the album: should be shot.

quite possibly retarded...shawty lo is hands down one of the most garbage rappers of all time dead or alive. he was the wackest person in a wack group. he was able to make a buzz by admittedly paying radio stations to play his music. from the dumb ass "retard running in place" dance to the horrible lack of skills he is easily the top contender in any "wackest of all time" list. if they put the subject "wack rapper" in the dictionary shawty lo's picture should be next to it with the words "L-O...dey know dey know."

2. dj paul (of three 6 mafia...on left)

in the game since: 1995

recent quotable: "now lawdy lawdy lawdy lawdy please lord have some mercy/this girl throwin judy i think she bout to hurt me/see she went front back then she went side to side/i'm throwin blanky jankies i think i need a ride."

people who bought the album: must like juicy j or just felt like wasting $15 bucks.

i would be surprised if anyone told me dj paul actually writes lyrics. because if he's taking time to sit down and write and still coming up with this shit he'd be better off and save time just going in and freestyling. the fact that he took a ridiculously wack hook written by his two retarded assistants and actually recorded it ("what you lookin at...i ain't a mirra") is even more evidence that dj paul is garbage. even worse...after watching their show i realized that even with the perception of being rich and winning an oscar they STILL couldn't get any honeys to their house overlooking hollywood hills. you have money and a house overlooking hollywood hills and you STILL can't get any hoes to the crib? talk about pathetic. the one subject he did try to rap about (pimpin) just went out the window at that point too.

3. jim jones

in the game since: 2004

recent quotable: "i'm in the coop relaxin/you see the roof collapsin/we on top of things and we got them things/but we only sell them birds, you tryna cop a wing?"

people who bought the album: must be from harlem or must not be able to recognize the real from the fake

first can i just say the whole "i'm a rapper and i sell drugs" shit is played OUT. like...several years ago played out. combine that with the fact that this cat changes his voice when he raps/talks to try and sound hard with more bass and that's even lamer than the drug talk. the icing on the cake is him trying to be a blood but claiming he didn't bang when confronted at the nba all-star game in los angeles. new york cats or people in other states period than CA that all of a sudden just become gang bangers (ie lil wayne & baby, young jeezy, cam'ron etc) are in a category of their own for how lame they are. like Jay said "BIG you'd be ashamed to see new york gang bang/Pac you'd feel the same thang." Even 50 cent said "new york niggas copy shit like it's all good/fuck around be crip walkin the wrong hood." so at least someone has addressed it. then he starts beef with Jay Z about how he's balling...are you serious? that's like sam bowie telling kobe bryant he can't ball. THEN after dissing Jay he turns around and quotes Jay in several songs...so sad. but aside from his lack of lyrical talent all the other above mentioned items make him one of the wackest rappers alive without question.

4. tony yayo

in the game since: 2000

recent quotable: "i lay my pimp game down when it comes to these bitches/they do what i say and obey all my wishes/wash all my clothes and my dirty dishes/i turn a sweet bitch into a switch blade mistress."

people who bought the album: i really don't know. if you bought this album there's really no hope for you. sorry.

tony yayo had to either kill someone for 50 back in the day when they were hustling, do time and take a wrap for 50 one of the times he went to jail or he must give better head than Karrine Stephans cause there is no explanation for why 50 disses young buck and treats lloyd banks like shit yet he loves this cat to death when he's the ONLY one in the crew that doesn't sell records. regarding him being garbage; he's 53 years old, spits rhymes a 12 year old could write and has no idea how to ride a beat. he tries...i'll give him that so he's not the wackest on this list but he's still in the top 5.

5. khia

in the game since: 2002

recent quotable: "i'm not the one to tolerate you fucking other hoes/so you don't wanna act right then you gots to go/cause i'm hot fo sho that's how it goes/like a game of 4 squared d man gots to go."

people who bought the album: probably thought they were supporting a mentally challenged retired-stripper who was now a single mother rapping to feed her kids.

my neck my back was a club hit in the south and even that was wack. on top of that this girl tried to call herself queen of the south when no one knows who she is anymore. then she shows up on vh1's miss rap supreme (queen of the south battling nobody ass emcees on a reality show? yeah...) and got kicked off the first episode for spitting old written lyrics trying to demand respect WHILE MISSPELLING RESPECT! (r-e-s-p-e respect me r-e-s-p-e respect me). this is what happens when some dude puts the random beat up bullet wound havin stripper from around the way in the studio thinking he can make some extra money off of her. and in the process she started to believe she could actually rap. so so sad.

that's the list. i'm sure some will disagree...feel free to leave a comment (even an anonymous one if you want) with your opinion of who should of been on the list or honorable mentions or if you actually think one of these 5 can rap go ahead and leave some proof why. leave a quotable or a song where they said anything remotely hot and i'll send you $20 bucks. lol.

peace.

5 women you couldn't pay me to sleep with...

two coworkers of mine were having a conversation about standards and casual sex and how women still (usually) have standards and men will fuck anything that moves. now...while this is true in many cases we get a bad wrap. many men do have standards and won't sleep with any woman that lets them. shit...in today's society if it's too easy to get the draws off tell her to put them back on cause something is wrong. (there are cases where two mature people agree to have a one night stand based on circumstances but that's usually out of town or in vegas...the busted chic you took home from the savoy after buying her two drinks doesn't count...that was different...she was a hoe).

anyway...in light of the idea of us having standards i present to you a list of 5 women who you couldn't pay me to sleep with. (unless of course we're talking $500,000 plus...then i might have to make an exception for at least one or two of them). hey...i have bills and retiring at 27 would be the shit.

1. New York (Tiffany) from I Love NY

it's not that she's SUPER ugly (she's not cute either but i'm trying to give her credit) or even the fact that she looks like one of the muppets. she actually has an ok shape since she's been on tv and made a little money. updgraded the breasts and got a little shape to her.

no...the reason she makes this list is because she looks like she smells like burnt weave (what exactly is that smell and where does it come from? why would you buy a weave then burn it ladies?) cigarettes and old tuna fish.

i couldn't kiss her (or anyone that smokes)...and something tells me by the time i got close enough to hug her i'd smell all i needed to to ruin the mood. so that's why she's on the list.

sidenote: her mother is of course also on the list but i thought i'd keep this list to women under 76.

depending on how bad the smell was i might consider moving her off the list for that $500,000. but if they tried to take taxes out then the deal is off.

2. Lil Kim

little kim actually might of missed this list a few years back (like 6 years back). the fucked up surgery put her in the top 10. the bleaching her skin on top of all that puts her EASILY in the top 5.

just look at the before and the after. there's no way you could pay me enough to fuck Lil Kim at this point. not just because she looks like a cross between the Joker, Chucky and Countess Vaughn but because frankly Lil Kim scares me. i think the thought of accidentally opening my eyes or forgetting to cover up one of the mirrors in the room would result in me being traumatized during the act and frankly i'm just not willing to risk that.

3. Amy Winehouse

do i really need to explain this one?

aside from being a crack head. aside from weighing 53lbs soaking wet with rocks in her pockets and timberland boots on look at her.

look at the picture.

seriously. what am i supposed to say to make why you couldn't pay me enough money to sleep with her more obvious than the picture makes it? what could i possibly say in words that would make it more evident.

and the fucked up part is she got famous singing a song about not going to rehab cause her dad said she's fine. when now it's only become more obvious her ass should of been there a year ago.

4. Wendy Williams

Wendy Williams is a man. period.

ignore the big ass fake breasts and pay attention to the jaw bone...that adam's apple and the voice. the facts speak for themselves. no one other than the doctor that delivered her and the gigantic amazon woman that birthed her could tell me different. Tyler Perry looks more feminine as Madea then she does at all (granted...Tyler Perry looks more feminine as Tyler Perry but that's another subject).

look at Russell Simmons in the picture. he's scared as shit! that's fear in his eyes. he was married to Kimora Lee Simmons. she's over 6 feet tall! so he's used to standing next to and even wrestling with big ass women. but he's scared out his mind and probably pissed in his phat farms standing next to Wendall Williams.

no way. not enough money on earth. for me to fuck Wendy Williams i'd have to be blindfolded...high out of my mind...all lights would need to be off...the moon couldn't even be out. fuck that. i don't even want to be able to make out a silhouette. even then i'd need some coaching and at least a bottle of patron room temperature. all that and i would CONSIDER it. we still might have to work out a few details. i think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

5. Floetry

usually most men would be all about a threesome but i think i'll pass this time.

now before any of the ladies hit me with how beautiful these women are on the inside and how their voices are so lovely...1. we're not talking about their album and 2. who cares how pretty the inside is if the outside scares you off from 10 feet away?

i like Floetry. and "say yes" is one of the sexiest songs of all time but that doesn't change the fact that the girl on the left looks like Michael Strahan...a defensive lineman from the New York Giants...and the one on the right looks like Buttaman from "Hood Fab" in drag (as if he didn't look weird enough already).

those uncanny family (i hope they're related because if not then they just look like ugly men for no apparent reason) resemblances are the main reason they make this list. i don't think they could sing or rap their way out the bucket of ugly they're in so we'll round off the list with these two.

peace.

mediatakeout.com...my thoughts...

i'm sure everyone knows what mediatakeout.com is so i won't go too far into it. it's basically a website that posts any and every piece of gossip nonsense and bullshit they can get their hands on with 1.3% legitimate entertainment news MAX.

a friend put me up on the site a while back and i checked it a few times but then i noticed a pattern. every day there'd be two updates on some entertainment news...some interesting...some funny some whatever...followed by 8 posts about who was busted and who wasn't...which got me to thinking...whoever is behind this site is in SERIOUS denial about being a hater.

for instance...today's update has a story on Young Buck releasing a diss track against 50 Cent after 50 put a phone conversation with Young Buck crying on the internet earlier this week...i know...priceless...and definitely falls into both the funny and the entertaining categories. but then they also posted stories on the following:

1. Usher's new baby (damn...Angelina Jolie gets millions from a magazine and the best Ursher can do is mediatakeout? talk about fucked up)

2. Teyana Taylor & Rihanna bumpin peaches (uh...first why do i care? second...is it really that shocking for a celebrity to be gay or a lesbian in 2008? seriously though)

3. 50 Cent changing his name to 99 Cent for Taco Bell ads (i know some don't like the term i'm about to use but it expresses my sentiments too perfectly to substitute something else so...nigga PLEASE)

4. Angie Stone saying Jill Scott and Macy Gray get movie roles over her because they're "light skinned" (ok Angie baby...first...Jill can actually act...second...Jill is a healthy girl but she's pretty...in the face...let the shit go...you're D'angelo's baby momma...you can sing but i think more people know you from Celebrity Fit Club than your "soul brother" single)

5. Robert from Day 26 being spotted with some honey in different clubs (again...it's 2008 and it's the music industry...who ISN'T fucking around? he tried to holla at D Woods on the show then said he didn't talk to his boo anymore and proposed to the same girl that used to make him look like a chump and expose his bitchassedness in the first season of the show...so what did you think he was doing?)

now all these can still fit nicely into the funny or interesting category. but the list of posts that are just dumb as hell are the posts about Ashanti wearing butt pads, or how bald headed Naomi Campbell is, or how ugly Alicia Keys' mom is, or how busted Joy Bryant's outfit is, or how Meagan Good had the wrong foundation on...seriously? you actually devoted some space on your site to what foundation a chick has on and if Naomi has a weave or not? FOR REAL?

now what do the women above have in common? they're all generally regarded as attractive women. which leads me to believe that at least half the staff there are a few busted bitter bitches sitting around looking for honeys to hate on. cause they don't call out wolf-looking chics like the girl that raps in Keyshia Cole's "shoulda let you go" video or New York and her goblin-lookin ass mother. they hate on Halle for not losing baby weight. seriously?

i'm willing to bet anyone a grand that none of the women behind mediatakeout weighs less than 250lbs with no change in their pockets and flip flops on.

with ALL that said...this is who i think is behind mediatakeout.com:

Sinceer from Flavor of Love 3 (the one with the Klingon forehead)...she was always hating on someone in the house that looked better than her.


Frangela from vh1's Best Week Ever (the two big girls that love talking about how busted celebrities are...i didn't even know these heffa's had a group name...wtf is that about?)

Angie Stone (since she's obviously officially registered her hater license)


a few of the ugly girls on myspace that swear they have haters when they're just wack and New York's mom Sister Patterson (whom i refuse to put a picture of out of fear that i might have nightmares).

i for one am over mediatakeout.com but i respect another's hustle so hate on ladies.

hate on with ya ugly asses.