i have two friends that i think are chubby chasers. i don't think either of them have made a conscious decision to only go after big girls but whether they know it or not they're chubby chasers. (kind of like that guy in high school everyone knew was gay EXCEPT them and then they come out and get mad when no one is shocked or surprised...kind of like that).
the women they date are typically on the healthy/hefty side (i know hefty is so NOT a sexy word but it fits...sorry) and once you're in your 20's that's not a trend or a phase...you like em big. now...i'm not talking thick like
Toccara: as long as she'd shut up for 5 minutes she could definitely get it. for the record...she is the epitome of thick. she's not a big girl. all her curves and weight are in the right place...it's just that she has a voice made to break glass windows and shatter eardrums.
Trina: true...she does look like E.T. but...if anyone out there is still confused...women...NO ONE LIKES TRINA BECAUSE OF HER MUSIC OR HER FACE...no one. trust me.
or Angel Lola Luv: no real words other than jesus christ and no...her ass is not too big.
no...i'm not talking thick like the girls above...i'm talking big girls. (sidenote: it's not about weight...it's all in how you wear it). we're talking Star Jones before the surgery...like comedian Mo'Nique from the Parkers big. big girl doesn't necessarily mean obese or sloppy. some big girls dress hot. and most big girls ALWAYS have their hair and nails done.
anyway...i'm getting off track...back to the point. i have a few friends who are chubby chasers and an uncle who told me cute/pretty girls come with headaches and have too much attitude and most can't cook or do shit but sit there and look cute (which is true about a lot of but not all pretty women) and that i should get a "fluffy girl" because "fluffy girls need love too."
so that made me think...there are some advantages to dating a big girl. that's a little too much lovin for me but i thought i'd lay out a few benefits i could think of in reason for dating a big woman.
1. warm in the winter time
for those that live in southern cali like me this may not be a concern. but for brothas living in denver, chicago or new york in the winter time cuddling up to a skinny honey when it's cold out isn't much help. imagine if you could wrap up in a big girl's love. shit...throw one of those thigh-looking arms over you and you're good. no frostbite tonight!
2. everything feels like a titty
ok...so imagine you're in bed and it's dark. you're kind of in the mood and want to feel on a little something. with any regular girl you gotta take into account what she's wearing. do i have to unfasten a bra? sneak under a shirt? slide the draws off? etc. with a big girl it doesn't matter what direction you go or what you grab. everything feels breasts or an ass cheek. shit...you could get escited rubbin on her big ass smooth ass elbow...just pretend she has really flat nipples.
3. you KNOW she can cook
well...at least there's a good chance. when you have that much experience with food chances are you learned SOMETHING a long the way. how to crack an egg...season a turkey leg...shit she at least has to know how to make a sandwich to be that big. it's not a sure thing that all big girls can cook...but i bet you even Oprah's rich ass can cook better than Nicole Richie.
4. great personality
what do girls ALWAYS say about their big girl friends when they're trying to hook someone up with them or convince someone to go out with them on a double date? "she's cool as hell and she's got a great personality." right? right. see...when you look like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls you can have an attitude and get away with it. when you look like that big girl from Xscape (remember her?) you're not really cute enough to have all that attitude and smart ass comments or else you'll end up getting left even by your friends. nothing worse than an ugly or big girl with an attitude. and they know that cause when you're not much to look at you have to have some kind of upside to you. which goes back to big girls always having their hair and nails done. they have to put in a little extra effort.
5. all big girls give a lot of head...so they must be good at it
now this is more a guess but i'm saying...practice has to add up to skill sooner or later right? as far as the "a lot" part...think back to high school. remember that big girl that was a hoe? everyone made fun of her but everyone knew she got caught giving head in several different places. in the library, at an assembly, behind the bungalo's etc. i don't know why but it seems like big girls are always known for giving head to half the school. some pretty girls act like a guy should feel honored to get head from them. wtf? any woman who says she doesn't do that in 2008 is either a fucking liar or plans on being lonely her WHOLE life. trust me women (and men)...you wanna keep your mate happy...give some head. no one has ever been upset while getting head unless it was horrible.
that's just a few things i could think of. but...in looking at that list...i still don't think the swole honeys are for me...but i can see why some men might prefer them i guess. to each his own. whatever floats your boat right? or whatever almost sinks it in this case.
peace.
the women they date are typically on the healthy/hefty side (i know hefty is so NOT a sexy word but it fits...sorry) and once you're in your 20's that's not a trend or a phase...you like em big. now...i'm not talking thick like
Toccara: as long as she'd shut up for 5 minutes she could definitely get it. for the record...she is the epitome of thick. she's not a big girl. all her curves and weight are in the right place...it's just that she has a voice made to break glass windows and shatter eardrums.
Trina: true...she does look like E.T. but...if anyone out there is still confused...women...NO ONE LIKES TRINA BECAUSE OF HER MUSIC OR HER FACE...no one. trust me.or Angel Lola Luv: no real words other than jesus christ and no...her ass is not too big.no...i'm not talking thick like the girls above...i'm talking big girls. (sidenote: it's not about weight...it's all in how you wear it). we're talking Star Jones before the surgery...like comedian Mo'Nique from the Parkers big. big girl doesn't necessarily mean obese or sloppy. some big girls dress hot. and most big girls ALWAYS have their hair and nails done.anyway...i'm getting off track...back to the point. i have a few friends who are chubby chasers and an uncle who told me cute/pretty girls come with headaches and have too much attitude and most can't cook or do shit but sit there and look cute (which is true about a lot of but not all pretty women) and that i should get a "fluffy girl" because "fluffy girls need love too."so that made me think...there are some advantages to dating a big girl. that's a little too much lovin for me but i thought i'd lay out a few benefits i could think of in reason for dating a big woman.
1. warm in the winter time
for those that live in southern cali like me this may not be a concern. but for brothas living in denver, chicago or new york in the winter time cuddling up to a skinny honey when it's cold out isn't much help. imagine if you could wrap up in a big girl's love. shit...throw one of those thigh-looking arms over you and you're good. no frostbite tonight!
2. everything feels like a titty
ok...so imagine you're in bed and it's dark. you're kind of in the mood and want to feel on a little something. with any regular girl you gotta take into account what she's wearing. do i have to unfasten a bra? sneak under a shirt? slide the draws off? etc. with a big girl it doesn't matter what direction you go or what you grab. everything feels breasts or an ass cheek. shit...you could get escited rubbin on her big ass smooth ass elbow...just pretend she has really flat nipples.
3. you KNOW she can cook
well...at least there's a good chance. when you have that much experience with food chances are you learned SOMETHING a long the way. how to crack an egg...season a turkey leg...shit she at least has to know how to make a sandwich to be that big. it's not a sure thing that all big girls can cook...but i bet you even Oprah's rich ass can cook better than Nicole Richie.
4. great personality
what do girls ALWAYS say about their big girl friends when they're trying to hook someone up with them or convince someone to go out with them on a double date? "she's cool as hell and she's got a great personality." right? right. see...when you look like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls you can have an attitude and get away with it. when you look like that big girl from Xscape (remember her?) you're not really cute enough to have all that attitude and smart ass comments or else you'll end up getting left even by your friends. nothing worse than an ugly or big girl with an attitude. and they know that cause when you're not much to look at you have to have some kind of upside to you. which goes back to big girls always having their hair and nails done. they have to put in a little extra effort.
5. all big girls give a lot of head...so they must be good at it
now this is more a guess but i'm saying...practice has to add up to skill sooner or later right? as far as the "a lot" part...think back to high school. remember that big girl that was a hoe? everyone made fun of her but everyone knew she got caught giving head in several different places. in the library, at an assembly, behind the bungalo's etc. i don't know why but it seems like big girls are always known for giving head to half the school. some pretty girls act like a guy should feel honored to get head from them. wtf? any woman who says she doesn't do that in 2008 is either a fucking liar or plans on being lonely her WHOLE life. trust me women (and men)...you wanna keep your mate happy...give some head. no one has ever been upset while getting head unless it was horrible.
that's just a few things i could think of. but...in looking at that list...i still don't think the swole honeys are for me...but i can see why some men might prefer them i guess. to each his own. whatever floats your boat right? or whatever almost sinks it in this case.
peace.
2 comments:
hahahaha!!
You are indeed a NUT!!
Smh at you calling Trina E.T. how mean - #5 was my fav even tho im not a guy!!
LOL!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm literally crying right now!!!! LOL! This is hilarious!
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